A Provocative Rant In Late For Obvious Objective Love

I can't take it anymore. When you can't beat them you might as well join them. I am now a liberal. In my new enlightened capacity I will hereby work to get all people to give 84% of their income directly to the US Government. They certainly know better how to spend it than they do. I will however develop intricate complicated tax laws with tiny little loop holes in order for me to keep all of my money. I will scold all of you republican heartless right wingers for driving gas guzzling murderous SUV's and demand that your insurance rates be higher. I will build a shrine to Lyndon B. Johnson and Ralph Nader!! I will kiss the feet of the statues I erect on my front lawn in their memory. I will personally fly to France and apologize for my previous derogatory statements towards them. While there, I will insult our current President and swear on an auto-biography of Barbara Striesand that I will move to France if Dubbya gets re-elected. I will become an atheist. Because there is a chance I will come in contact with one of my US or State elected officials and we cannot have any chance of religion swaying any vote we may discuss. I will stop showering in order to conserve water. I will demand that we stop importing foreign oil. But will also demand that we stop drilling for oil here. I will work to ensure that all of our children get passing grades whether they deserve them or not because we can all succeed if we have good self esteem. But that success will not be monetary. I will work to completely eliminate the monetary system because it just breeds injustice and greed. There will be no need for money since we will all get what we need because we need it. Gosh, It's so easy to be like this. No thinking. No choosing. Just feel and live on emotion. What a nice life this will be. We'll all listen to the Grateful Dead, eat grilled cheese sandwiches and discuss April Sunshine's macrame.
(take the first letter of each word in the title of this rant for and explanation of this rant.)